Scribbler's Folly

Emotional Lockdowns & Breakthroughs

2012-01-31T07:47:00.001-08:00

Can I see another's woe, and not be in sorrow too? Can I see another's grief, and not seek for kind relief? -- William Blake

Nature and nurture dance a full-tilt rock 'n' roll tango in Deborah Jiang Stein's adrenaline pumping memoir,"Even Tough Girls Wear Tutus." As a multi-racial child, adopted by Jewish academics in the early '60's, Deborah's feelings of isolated "otherness" are ratcheted up to mythic proportions when at the tender and tumultuous age of 12 she discovers a letter that will shatter and change her life. The adoption is obvious ( though her parents rarely talk about it), but the circumstances surrounding it are unimaginable. In the secret letter--found in her mother's sachet lined dresser drawer-- an appeal to a lawyer seeks to have Deborah's birth certificate sanitized, altering her place of birth from the Federal Women's Prison in Alderson, West Virginia to Seattle. "Nothing good will come from her knowing she lived in the prison before foster care, or that her mother was a heroin addict," her mother writes.

That devastating news will fuel Deborah's undoing and ultimately prove her salvation. "Even Tough Girls Wear Tutus" chronicles her emotional downward spiral from angry adolescent to volatile drug addicted young criminal, and her triumphant recovery and reinvention as an advocate, speaker and writer.

During a chat last week, Deborah discussed the arduous, but cathartic writing process as well as her future hopes for her Non Profit, The UnPrison Project, that sends her all over the country speaking at women's prisons and conferences.

Ironically, Deborah first fictionalized her story and shopped it as a novel. Remember this was some years back when all those phony memoirs fell off the shelves in the wake of the big James Frey fake memoir Oprah betrayal brouhaha. "Once they ( editors and agents) heard it was a true story, they kept saying it should be a memoir, but I didn't want any part of that."

So she put it away for a while. But our stories have a way of nagging at us, until they just spill out, no matter the anguish. " It's not like my story is ever far behind. I can relive the whole thing in a minute. But I wrote through a lot of wet pages," she concedes. "I had to peel the real story out of the novel."

And the real story is one of the most raw and riveting books I've read in recent memory. As a writer and a teacher and creativity coach who works with writers, I am blown away by Stein's authentic voice; there's nothing sentimental or apologetic about it. Here, give a listen to an excerpt from one of her presentations, and you'll hear what I'm talking about.

It's that unconditional love of her parents, as well as the education and opportunity to develop her creativity that save her. In case you were wondering, this is where the tutus in the title come in. As a young girl, Deborah is introduced to dance and loves it, but thinks a girl born in prison is unworthy of the elegant art. That's one of the many heartbreaking revelations. Another is when, as an adult, she finally returns to tour Alderson and is ushered into the very cell where she spent her first year of life. Her visceral reaction stirs an emotional tsunami that took me by surprise in the middle of Starbucks ( that's okay; it gave me a chance to share the book's potency with a few fellow patrons). There's also a beautiful reconciliation scene with her mother, so long in the coming, it will likely pull at your heart.

"Most of the women--whether they have any real education or not--are thirsty for change. They know they need it. They want to believe it's possible," Deborah says. "And I know having an education helped me change. It gave me a way to get out of my head, a new way to look at the world. I know it can do the same for so many others."

Of course, you don't have to have a prison story to be affected by this book. I think everyone can relate to the powerful grasp secrets can have on a person, the emotional lockdown they can slam on a vulnerable psyche. It's the sharing of those secrets, whether to the world or just yourself, that is so liberating and transformative. That's why writing can be therapeutic. And reading a book that gushes rage and regret in equal measure with reconciliation and hope can illuminate the strength and grace of the human spirit. "Even Tough Girls Wear Tutus" is one of those books.

Cheers and onward

aba

That Age Old Question...Again

2011-12-13T14:50:00.000-08:00

I never feel age ... If you have creative work, you don't have age or time.”- Lousie Nevelson

Frank McCourt relished his role as Fitzgerald slayer. The famed high school teacher turned author loved to put the kibosh on F. Scott Fitzgerald's famous line,"There are no Second Acts in American life." McCourt, who published his first book, the blockbuster bestseller Angela's Ashes at 66( followed by 'Tis and Teacher Man) often called the last decade of his life his best.

So I'm sure he'd delight in being my opening salvo in a motivational nudge I recently gave a client deeply entrenched in a procrastinational funk. "I'm too old to start writing a book now," she said, lamenting her approaching birthday. I'm not sure where she got such a silly notion, but she's not alone. I've had many clients and students who think they're too old to pursue their dreams. Unless your dream is to, say, play shortstop for the Mets or dance in the NYC Ballet, I'm pretty sure they are within reach. Think of it this way: you're still--God willing--going to turn 40,50,60, whatever age you deem too old. Wouldn't your rather reach that dubious milestone doing something you love?

The truth is creativity knows no age. Actually, the art of creating helps you stay young, keeping you in touch with the child within, letting you engage in the states of exploration and play. And whatever your age, you've presumably accrued experience along the way. This can only help enrich the art you create.

Besides McCourt examples of late-blooming artists abound. Grandma Moses didn't even start painting until her 70's; her late-in-life career kept her thriving, creating the American folk art that has immortalized her well into her 90's. Maya Angelou didn't publish anything until her 40's. Neither did Ellen Gilchrist;the National Book Award winning short story writer and novelist once said of writing, "it makes me forget I'm not young anymore."

There are examples from the youth-obsessed entertainment industry, too. Noted character actor John Mahoney--famous for his TV role as Frasier's dad (and numerous movie parts)ditched his job as a text book editor in his 40's to pursue acting. Julia Child was over fifty when she published her first ground-breaking cook book; and she was well into her fifties when she stormed the small screen, becoming the first celebrity TV chef. Country singers K.T. Oslin and Buddy Jewel didn't hit the charts until their 40's. And Britain's Got Talent finalist and YouTube sensation Susan Boyle recorded her first album at the tender age of 48. And The Pope signed a record deal in his 80's. Such news is Heaven sent for most folks of a certain age.

There's nothing like immersing yourself in a creative project to infuse your life with youthful energy. So dive into the creative well. It's the ultimate fountain of youth. Hey, what are you waiting for? You're not getting any younger.

Cheers and onward.
aba

Changing Comfort Zones

2011-12-06T14:11:00.000-08:00

It’s good to do uncomfortable things. It’s weight training for life. ~ Anne Lamott

It's easy to stay in the same place. You know exactly what to expect. From yourself and others. But when you get too comfy, you tend to get complacent, even lazy. When you go beyond your comfort zone you wake-up to your talents, desires, potential, often in ways you never could have imagined.

In a recent writing workshop, an adult student who hadn't written anything beyond a business report in over thirty years, surprised herself by creating a moving piece in just twenty minutes. But it took a lot to get there. First,she had to overcome years of trepidation just to join the workshop. Then she had to conquer her fears to write spontaneously, and she did so in front of others! And while sharing is always optional in my workshops, she braved the boundaries she had unconsciously imposed on herself years ago, and read her work to the group.

By straddling her comfort zone and plunging into a new creative area she opened herself up to a whole new world of possibilities. Enlivened by the experience, she's now working on refining that first piece and delving deeper into new stories. And she has become one of the most enthusiastic and supportive members of the workshop.

So go ahead: take a risk, embrace a new activity, reawaken a dormant dream. But be warned: You may find yourself more alive than you've ever been.

Cheers and onward.

aba

Good Reads & Readers

2011-11-15T14:19:00.000-08:00

As a newcomer to the cool literary site Good Reads, I welcome new bookworms and the people who love them into the Scribblers Folly fold. Usually I offer inspired nudges in the creative direction for writers and other artistic types.

With the release of my new novel, "Killing Time" ( just out by Hen House Press and available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and wherever e-books are sold; paperback coming soon), I'll be engaging in a bit of shameless self-promotion. Truth be told, it's a bit out of my comfort zone. I'm so much more accustomed to shilling other people's fine work, but a girl's got to do what she can to get the word out about the first in a new series of mysteries featuring the feisty amateur sleuth Eliza Gordon and her pal Midge Sumner.

So I hope you'll read it and help spread the word. Go ahead: follow the clues and take your shot at solving the mystery! And thanks, in advance, for taking the chance on my first foray into the mystery genre. I think you'll have fun hanging out with some delightfully quirky characters in a quaint little town that just happens to have one--make that two-- murders to solve.

And I'll also spend a bit more time here blogging about some of my favorite authors and recent reads.

So welcome Good Reads newbies and welcome back all SF regulars. Let's get another lively conversation going.

Cheers and onward.

aba

Dangerous Appetites

2011-09-12T10:36:00.000-07:00

That's one cool trailer for a sizzling collection filled with thirteen murderous stories. Honored and proud to have my tasty tale, "Dangerous Appetites" about deadly suburban discomfort among them. Download your copy of "Fiction Noir" today. Coming soon in paperback, too! Thanks, Hen House Press.

Cheers and Onward.

aba

Playing With Artistic Blocks

2011-06-16T13:06:00.000-07:00

"We write. We talk about writing. We encourage each other. Sometimes we offer constructive criticism." That's how I nutshell my creative writing workshops to prospective participants.

The workshop is equal parts sanctuary, playground and group therapy session. We typically use the first fifteen to twenty minutes of each session to just write, write, write. I offer a prompt--a photo, a song lyric, a line or scenario-- as a suggestion- a jumping off point- which can be used or eschewed in favor of an image or idea rumbling around in a writer's head. The premise: uncensored, uninhabited writing can open the creative passageway often blocked by the raging self-doubt of that pesky inner critic who always seems to tag along for the ride.

After we finish writing, folks can share or pass ( I'm the only one who never passes; I think as the facilitator it is incumbent upon me to share). No one offers criticism. How can we? We know the work can't be very good; it is after all, a very raw, rough draft. People can, however, mention a particular image that stood out, if they are so inclined.

The surprising thing: many of the images, turns of phrase, characters, are often vivid or amusing or touching. Some even serve as starting points for stories and poems, scripts and even books. You'd be amazed at what your inner artist can do when s/he is left to play without fear of recriminations, without that pounding "It's no good," "No one will care," "No one will ever publish this."

These exercises give you permission to try, to play, to experiment. And once you dip into that creative well, you're apt to dip in again and again.

The rest of the session is open for sharing, collaborating and critiques. Got a little procrastination problem? Come on down. It's amazing what a little group accountability and encouragement can do to convert even the most adroit procrastinators into productive writers.

I encourage a generous cross sampling of fiction writers and playwrights, poets and non-fiction writers. As a genre-jumping writer myself, I find the collaborations exciting. Alchemy is often ignited as we let our guards down and explore unexpected creative terrain.

New workshops are forming soon in New York City, suburban New York and Connecticut. All workshops are open to writers regardless of skill level or genre.

Call(914) 939-5579 or write: abwrites@optonline.net for registration information. Private coaching sessions and writing/editing services available from anywhere.

Cheers and onward.

aba

You Gotta Believe

2011-05-05T13:26:00.000-07:00

My childhood love affairs with the famous Dragon Coaster and the New York Mets prepared me for the ups and downs of a creative career.

The anticipation. The ascension. The dips. These are all part of every roller coaster ride. And every season, every game ( sometimes every inning). And they all play roles in most creative careers, too.

Just entering historic Rye Playland filled my youthful heart with magic and wonder. When I was straddling the middle between Kiddie Land and the Big rides, I would wait in line, standing tall, working a nasty little hole in the tip of my sneakers, hoping, praying I'd make the height line. I used to base my summer's success on the number of visits my family made to Playland.

When I finally made it onto the Dragon Coaster,I remember that queasy feeling that crept from my stomach to my head as we boarded the ride cars, buckled in for a wild, raucous, three minute romp. Kids would titter, giggle, laugh even before the ride started. The laughter, the screaming reached a crescendo as we took our first big, thrilling dip.

I loved it all. Until. Until the summer I turned seventeen and got a job ( actually begged for a job) as a relief ticket-taker. I'd roam the grounds of the hallowed Playland, proudly wearing my red and white striped carnival barker's shirt, filling in for the regular ticket-takers on a variety of rides, including my beloved Dragon Coaster. Somehow turning kids away and getting lambasted in a compendium of United Nations' languages sapped all the majesty and mystique out of the Playland experience.

But I still have my Mets. Hooked on New York's other baseball team by my dad, who had been a fervent Brooklyn Dodgers' fan, I inherited his love for the underdog Amazins ( and,come to think of it, all underdogs, not to mention my love of writing). I'm too young to remember the 1969 Miracle Mets, but I do know they clinched the World Series against the Orioles on October 16-my mom's birthday. And I'll forever hold Tug McGraw's 1973 inspirational anthem, " You Gotta Believe," in my heart. It's seen me through many hapless seasons. And the glorious 1986 championship season ( here's where Red Sox fans can use the boost), and near misses in 1999 and 2000, a pair of crash-and-burn Septembers in 2007 & 2008 and back-to-back lacklusters in 2009 & '10. It spirits me on through our less than auspicious entree into the 2011 season. I'm still hoping, waiting, knowing a recovery is imminent; a real comeback is in the offing.

And so it is with my creative career, too. I love the whole shebang--from conceiving a project to executing it; from launching it into the world to fielding feedback from audiences and readers. It's all part of the process. And you have to love it all to make any of it happen. I love the possibilities of a new project, all the details that get discovered, the stories that are fleshed out along the way. I yearn for success, of course, but I embrace the failures too. I've even developed a perverse sort of love for rejection letters. Each one is a symbol of my commitment to my work. People have a right to say no. They can't get it right every time. And neither can I. But every stumbling block, every obstacle, they are all part of the thrilling ride.

I know a lot of creative people face artistic blocks and confidence dips. But joy and tenacity often conspire to embed enough faith in the heart to set the hard working wheels in motion.

So if you come to play,be prepared to work hard and practice, practice, practice. Accept that you'll strike out a few times. But if your disciplined, you'll get to run the bases. And if you work hard enough and if you're truly lucky you may just hit one out of the park. Maybe even two. Or three.

Hey, you gotta believe!

Cheers and onward.

aba

Living Out Loud Part I: Intentions

2011-03-24T12:49:00.000-07:00

"so much to do, so little done, such things to be."--Elizabeth Taylor

I've been talking a lot lately about living out loud. Just what that means, all that it entails, really depends on the person living ( or trying to) live that life. Really. Remember, no one-size fits all formula for success and happiness. Sorry, if that's the instant quick fix you're looking to buy, move on: I'm not selling it here.

What I've been getting at is the notion of living the life you want as boldly and loudly as you can. Start with identifying what you want and need. Now and as you forge into the future. That old (oxymoron alert) new agey slogan, "If you can dream it, you can be it, " writ large. And if you're gonna dream, you might as well dream BIG.

Be bold, audacious. And say it. Okay, here's where folks sometimes recoil. Some are afraid of potential ridicule, others fear mere mention of their desires will put the kibosh on the whole thing. I've never cared much about looking the fool in the eyes of strangers or, for that matter, my close circle. Pretty sure most folks are familiar with my various follies by now ( and most have engaged in their fair share, too). But I admit I have often employed the "jinx theory." Yep, as sagacious as I may be, I , too have fallen prey to the erroneous idea that if I actually articulate my hopes and dreams, somehow they won't come true.

Silly right? I mean come on, simply declaring my desire to write a bestselling novel, say, or host a popular syndicated radio show, doesn't negate the future success of such lofty aspirations. On the contrary, by asserting the desire I am putting both myself and the universe on notice. These are my intentions. Help me turn them into reality.

Another grand personal growth ditty: "Say it to claim it" applies here. Start by first naming the intention, then say it aloud. Say it first--and frequently--to yourself. This may actually be the hardest part for some people. Just admitting what it is that you want and need can be both daunting and an enormous relief.

Once you've become comfortable with the concept, once your intention is clear and right to you, shout it, with all your might, into the universe. Go outside, stand under the stars and roar into the night.

Now that you know, and the universe knows, you may be ready to share the intention with your coach, teacher, friend, spouse. You'll probably skip running up to random strangers and declaring your future plans. That sort of exuberant outburst may work for some folks, but since I can't gauge the range of myriad reactions, I'm not officially recommending such free-falling enthusiasm.

Say it, claim it. Dream it, be it.

Revel in the release of the intention. And then get ready to work harder than you've ever worked in your life to make it so.

To be continued....

Cheers and onward.

aba

Rejection Dejection Redux

2011-03-04T15:29:00.000-08:00

"Rejected pieces aren't failures; unwritten pieces are.": Greg Daugherty

I collect nos. And if you're a writer ( or anyone looking for a job these days), you probably do, too. Unless you're Stephen King's wife or Mary Higgins Clark's daughter, you're likely to amass hundreds, if not thousands of rejection letters. I refuse to count, but I have a friend who keeps a tally. A student alphabetizes every rejection by the agent's last name; another catalogs them by date received. Some people hang them up on a wall; some burn them in a cleansing ritual; some simply toss them in the trash. I'm saving mine for an art project worthy of a National Endowment for the Arts grant or for gotcha bragging rights when I become famous. Whatever works.

Of course there are variations on the "no." Some are mere form letters, untouched by human hands. Some are more emphatic than others. The " No way in hell," is rarely bluntly stated, but often implied in the short " Dear Author" form card. But just as quickly as such an austere standard brush -off can slam the door shut, a slightly warmer rebuff can open a crack in the window of literary fortune."Not now," especially if written in hand with something akin to, "But try us again," offers a glimmer of hope. A real personalized letter with actual suggestions and a " try again later," is nothing short of promising.

All writers---novices and pros alike--need encouragement. It may seem counter-intuitive to find such a boost from a rejection letter, but it's in there. Look at it this way: sending out your work is a positive step ( assuming it's ready to be seen by editors and agents). It is your foray into the literary lottery. And like love and lotteries, the submission process is very much a numbers game. Frequently you have to endure a succession of nos to finally arrive at that one coveted yes. But that one sweet yes can swiftly eradicate your rejection dejection.

And you never know who will see your work along the way. An unsolicited call from an editor asking me to write an article or a festival director seeking to produce one of my plays can help me rebound from a recent batch of rejections. Just the jolt I need to re-energize my creative juices, refuel my resolve to keep going, fortify me for yet another round of submissions.

So every time you get a rejection letter, file it, count it, catalog it, toss it. Do what works for you. But make sure the ritual includes savoring each rejection as a symbol of your commitment and faith in your own work. And know you're not alone. There are millions of us collecting nos. Like that famous little train, if you think you can convert those nos into a yes, you can.

I think I can. I think I can. And I think you can, too.

Drive safe. Play nice. Think peace.

aba

Start Me Up

2011-01-24T13:29:00.000-08:00

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." Walt Disney

Start with the smell of burnt toast. Or look for a pair of missing earrings. Try falling out of love. Or waiting for an interview for a job you desperately want ( or one you never thought you'd have to get). Start with a line from a song or a classic movie. Look at a snapshot from a family album. Or a photo from the newspaper.

These are all prompts I have used in creative writing workshops to help writers tap into the creative well that is available to every artist. We typically use the first fifteen to twenty minutes of each session to just write, write, write. The prompt is merely a suggestion- a jumping off point- which can be used or eschewed in favor of an image or idea rumbling around in a writer's head. The premise: uncensored, uninhabited writing can open the creative passageway often blocked by the raging self-doubt of that pesky inner critic who always seems to tag along for the ride.

After we finish writing, folks can share or pass ( I'm the only one who never passes; I think as the facilitator it is incumbent upon me to share). No one offers criticism. How can we? We know the work can't be very good; it is after all, a very raw, rough draft. People can, however, mention a particular image that stood out, if they are so inclined.

The surprising thing: many of the images, turns of phrase, characters, are often vivid or amusing or touching. Some even serve as starting points for stories and poems, scripts and even books. You'd be amazed at what your inner artist can do when s/he is left to play without fear of recriminations, without that pounding "It's no good," "No one will care," "No one will ever publish this."

These exercises give you permission to try, to play, to experiment. And once you dip into that creative well, you're apt to dip in again and again.

Is something burning? It may be your desire to connect or re-connect with your inner artist. Or it may just be your breakfast. Either way, it's time to get started.

Drive safe, play nice, think peace.

aba

Ready For Change?

2011-01-03T12:43:00.000-08:00

"They always say time changes things, but actually you have to change them yourself. -Andy Warhol

Think about the following statements: Change is hard. Change is exciting. Which one sounds more inviting?

Approaching any change--career, artistic endeavor, relationship,diet, etc.--with the belief that it will be a long, arduous slog is far more daunting to most of us than if we embrace the change as an adventure. Re-framing the way we look at the world is the first step of finding happiness with our lives as they currently are and successfully handling transitions and effectively achieving goals.

Easier said than done, I know. And that's where an effective coach comes in. As a creativity coach I can help you define your goals and focus on the area or areas in your life that you'd like to change, expand and explore.

As a professionally trained coach and counselor with a Masters degree in Mental Health Counseling and post-graduate work in Creative Writing and Personal Coaching, I have helped clients in one-on-one sessions as well as through writing and personal growth workshops for ten years. I am also a professional writer--a journalist, award-winning playwright and novelist-- and radio talk show host. I have faced my share of transitions as I've navigated, from the driver's seat, the bumpy ride that a creative life often traverses.

I can help you:

set realistic goals
create and implement action plans
explore creative and spiritual arenas
conquer artistic blocks
work on relationships

As your coach I will: offer you a safe space where you will always be heard, validated, encouraged and held accountable to your goals.

Coaching is a rewarding, inter-active process. As we forge this unique partnership, we will collaborate on an amazing journey of positive growth and change.

Phone sessions are available; so no matter where you are, I can be accessible to you. In person sessions and workshops are available by arrangement in New York and Connecticut, though many local clients also find phone sessions more convenient and intimate.

I invite you to start a creative conversation.

Call me at (914) 939-5579 or
e-mail: abwrites@optonline.net
The first conversation, of course, is on me.

Thank you.

Drive safe. Play nice. Think peace.

Amy Beth Arkawy

Get Lost

2010-11-08T13:23:00.000-08:00

"Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time." Thomas Merton

Creative pursuits can open us up to a most interesting paradox: escape and self-exploration. Really, think about the last time you watched a movie, stared at a painting or read a book. Recall the sensory satisfaction. Did the experience lift you out of your life? Or did it bring you closer to you inner world? Or both?

Art at its best--sometimes even at its worst--can spiritually and emotionally transport you to another rime, place, realm. You get to walk with someone else, often as someone else, for a brief moment in time. Even low-brow stuff has its powers. People gravitate to thrillers and horror stories, after all, for their vicarious danger. And with the right music and manipulation, romance and fantasy can lift even a cynic's heart.

But just as you seek escape--from your own assorted worldly woes and internal struggles-- art can bring you home to yourself, too. Can you recall a book--maybe one that is set in a time and place foreign to you--that strikes a visceral emotional chord? I often fall back on Ellen Gilchrist's remarkable story collection, Drunk With Love because of its sheer beauty and the emotions it pours forth from me. That most of the stories are set in the South and some in an era before I was even born, has no bearing on the emotional truth they evoke. For me. I am simpatico with the characters, enthralled by the language, the style,the tone. Every time I read it (or almost any Gilchrist story), I am more connected to who I was as a girl, who I am now as a woman and who I am becoming as a writer.

When we create art we can escape those aforementioned worldly woes and grow ever closer to our own inner desires and power. Even escapist genre writing can often spark a deep,unexpected emotional chord. Writing a recent cozy mystery series unveiled some of my ambivalence about a romantic relationship. Even within that limited format I discovered more than one a ha moment. So I guess Gertrude Stein was right when she said "Wherever you go,there you are."

That's one of the most compelling forces of the creative process. You get to understand yourself better as you experience other people and other places.

So delve in. Dive in. Explore.

And get ready to get lost. And found!

Drive safe. Play nice. Think peace.

aba

Life Stories

2010-10-21T15:14:00.000-07:00

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." e.e. cummings

The past has had me in its thrall over the last few weeks. A few surprising Facebook re-connections and a fiction project set during my halcyon college days has sent me into trippy territory.

As I was playing catch- up with a friend I hadn't spoken with in over ten years, it occurred to me that trying to describe your life to someone who hasn't been in it for a long time is like explaining a soap opera to someone who never watched it. It can sound a little crazy. Maybe a lot crazy.

Turns out, it's also a great writing exercise and coaching tool for anyone who wants to assess his/her life. Just where you begin tells a lot about you and what's most important in your life. Same for the details you share and the ones you omit. Remember: it's not just what you say, but also what you leave out that speaks to your story, and your life.

Of course, sometimes your audience will determine just what you say. A distant friend may be a better springboard for the unfiltered truth than say your spouse, kids or parents. That's why folks go to coaches and therapists, too. It's easier to be honest with someone who doesn't have as big a stake in the way things have turned out or appear.

On the other hand, sometimes --especially if you've had a competitive friendship with someone-- you may tend to exaggerate accomplishments and downplay disappointments. So for the purposes of the exercise, try writing a letter to a long-lost friend with whom you have nothing but affection. If there is no such person in your past, he/she can be easily conjured. This is just an exercise for you to honestly take stock in your life. Try answering the following questions within the narrative:

Where are you vs. where you thought you'd be. Have you achieved your goals/ have they changed? What is your proudest personal and professional achievements? What challenges have you faced and how have you handled adversity? What do you regret most? Who are the most important people in your life?

Don't just list the questions--and you don't have to answer all of them; there may be others that seem more relevant as you write. Just let yourself write your story, allowing your authentic voice to come through in a brief, page length version. You may be fascinated by both what you highlight and omit. And be amazed at the questions that surface.

These short life stories can be used to mine creative material for fiction and drama. They can also be fabulous barometers and teaching tools for those yearning to make personal, creative and career transitions. You may be surprised at just what emerges as your next big step.

So be brave and honest. And get ready to immerse yourself in your own life. I think you'll find it an exhilarating and illuminating journey.

Drive safe. Play nice. Think peace.

aba

Cultivating the Write Stuff

2010-09-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

"If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot."-Stephen King

Here's the thing about writing no one ever tells you when you're starting out and probably still in school, ensconced, perhaps in a nice cozy writing program: in the real world writing can be a pretty lonely occupation. And it can often take years before you'll have anything in the way of tangible, earthly evidence to show for your efforts.

Still in? Then get to it. Write, write, write. And read everything you can get your hands on, too. Experiment with different authors and genres. Stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone. Go as far as you can without needing a cranial chiropractor.

If you're out of school, you might want to find a writing group or workshop to join. I've been a member and facilitator of such workshops and always find the connections, criticism and companionship inspiring. Even if the group is small or you don't find the critiques particularly sophisticated, you'll get a boost just by sharing your work. Heck, for some folks just leaving the house and talking to people is enough reward.

Seriously, the best thing a supportive workshop or group can do is offer you a space to be heard, encouraged and held accountable. Yeah, I said accountable. Most writers fall prey to procrastination, but with a group's weekly ( or bi-weekly) deadline approaching, you may be pleasantly surprised at your own output.

Spend your time outside the group writing and re-writing, borrowing tricks and insights you picked up from your colleagues. Don't forget to leave some time for reading, too. You'll want to unearth wisdom from professional journals and blogs to share with your fellow writers at the next session. And immerse yourself in fiction or non-fiction that ignites your passion for craft.

Do it again the next week. And the week after that. And so forth until you've actually cultivated something resembling the write stuff. You might even have something to show the world. And you'll more than likely have begun to enjoy the solitary writing life just a little bit more.

Drive safe Play nice. Think peace.

aba

Rules & Rituals

2010-06-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big rules person. Oh, I believe in the Golden Rule and all that other good stuff I learned and have been (trying to) faithfully practice since Kindergarten. But when it comes to writing and life, there is no one size fits all rule book. So my advice to clients and students: forget every rule all those well meaning teachers, friends and self-help articles gave you.

Here's a sampling of some of my favorite iron-clad concepts that I've buried in wisdom's backyard: you have to write every day; never read anything while you're immersed in a project; read every single thing you can put your eyes on, only write what you know; never write from the opposite gender's p.o.v; never write in the present tense; set the scene with explicit physical descriptions; limit physical descriptions; never use adverbs!

The rules are endless. And some make sense for some people some of the time. But none of them work for everyone all the time. And since most of my clients and students are folks who have little writing experience, haven't written in a quite some time or are battling artistic blocks, handing them a list of restrictive rules seems counter-intuitive. What I try to do instead is provide prompts and offer suggestions. I encourage people to try different approaches. Play, experiment, see what fits, what works for you.

While I eschew rules, I am a believer in rituals. Not that there's a rule about it, of course, but I find developing rituals--and for me I often change them to ensure their freshness and effectiveness--help me fall into a positive, creative groove.

When I'm in a writing funk ( yeah even coaches and teachers get stuck), I will fall back on some of the practices I embraced years ago following Julia Cameron's principles in "The Artist's Way." The biggest among them: the dreaded "Morning Pages." When I first started that program, I found it difficult--no--excruciating to have to scribble three long hand stream-of-consciousness pages every single morning. For one thing--despite a checkered radio career that included hosting not one, but two morning drive shows, I am not, by nature, a morning kind of gal. I also found that rather than producing anything resembling Virginia Woolf's famed style, the pages had an early laundry list quality with a disgruntled overtone.

But after a week or so, I got into a groove and the writing started to contain glimmers of meaning and inspiration. Not that I follow this practice religiously. I go through journal writing jags; and when I do it it's usually at night. That works for me. If you're like some of my students who just can't cope with morning pages in the morning, try them at night. See if that works.

Music is also a big part of my writing process. I usually have the radio or a CD on while I'm writing. And often before I start, I'll listen to a particular song. The song often changes depending on the project. For a while, I'd listen to the entire disc I of Van Morrison's "Hymns to the Silence" before even tackling a single word. Somehow this musical meditation lured me into the characters' interior lives. It was a little time consuming, and it may have been a subconscious stall tactic. But for a time, it worked, so I indulged myself.

I've experimented with when and where I write, too. I wrote most of the first draft of my first novel at Starbucks in long hand. Much of the second one, too. I always write my first drafts in long hand. And since I need a Rosetta Stone to transcribe my own handwriting, I am motivated to hit the computer for the first re-write immediately if not sooner.

I've had clients who need to wear a particular sweater, write at a certain time of day, eat the same breakfast, go for a swim or walk before or after writing, surround themselves with good luck talismans, read a bible passage, open a fortune cookie. Hey, I'm from the whatever works school.

Just remember as a rule, there are no rules when it comes to rituals.

Drive safe. play nice. Think peace.

aba

Writer's Fuel

2010-06-16T14:59:00.000-07:00

Even coaches need inspiration. As I juggle myriad projects music helps motivate, inspire and soothe. Just what I listen to often depends on my mood, the pace of my schedule and the work itself. Today, I wrote a film review, radio comedy bits, edited a non-fiction how-to book and finished a chapter of the latest A.B. Sage mystery. Whoo!

Guess this classic Elton John-Bernie Taupin song--one of my faves from the heady days of adolescence which longed merely for the romanticism of an artistic career, leaving any practical considerations for a later, more sobering season--captures my hopeful, frenetic mood.

I can't speak for tomorrow. But today was a good day in the writing shop.

One word at a time, kid. One precious word at a time.

Need to make come creative changes personally or professionally? A coach can help motivate, inspire, keep you accountable to your goals and dreams. Let's start a creative conversation. The first session's on me.

Drive safe. Play nice. Think peace.

aba

Beyond the Blues

2010-05-26T14:06:00.000-07:00

All artists are crazy. We've all heard that old cliche. And within that ignorant and often mean-spirited indictment of creative personalities is a grain of truth. Crazy, of course, is not a diagnosis, and I actually take it as a compliment. Crazy--in this context anyway-- means, to me, imaginative, liberated, uninhibited, creative.

But it's also true that many creatives suffer from depression, anxiety and other psychological disorders. From Vincent Van Gogh to Virginia Woolf, from William Styron to Kurt Cobain, the list of artistic luminaries who have grappled with mental illness is a long one. Fortunately, talk therapy and the advent of effective psychiatric medications have made it easier for those suffering to find relief and learn ways to cope with their conditions. Read more in Therese Brocahrd's article:

Dealing with depression to access our creativity

While there is greater awareness and acceptance, for some people a shame or perceived stigma surrounding mental illness still remains. This can delay, impede or thwart treatment. I have had clients who resist treatment because they fear medications, and sometimes therapy, will stifle or stunt their creativity. This is largely a myth. The reverse is more likely the case. If you don't get help, your creative well may seem to dry up. Reach out and you will be pleasantly surprised at how quickly you will be able to access that pool of infinite imaginative possibilities.

If you are experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety that persist for longer than a couple of weeks, please seek help from a mental health professional.

Drive safe Play nice. Think peace.

aba

Fail Safe

2010-05-06T13:09:00.000-07:00

"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."-- Samuel Beckett

A client recently admonished me to "knock off the chipper 'try, try again' nonsense." It's not so easy, he contended, to keep plugging away at something that shows no apparent evidence of ever amounting to much.

I can't argue with that. He's been toying with the same book project for over four years, having little luck with agents, publishers or, quite frankly, motivation to complete it.

But perseverance is as difficult as it is necessary. But if you are driven to succeed at anything, you will have to summon it. Somehow, some way.

When frustration sets in, ask yourself some important questions: why am I doing this? What do I expect from it? Is the pursuit of this particular goal, project, dream instilling even a modicum of joy into my life?

And don't farm them out. These are not questions to be answered by your spouse, mom, boss, coach, best friend or neighborhood yenta. Listen carefully to your honest answers.

If the object of your pursuit no longer holds the magic, sway or interest it once did, that's okay. It's merely a sign that it's time to move on. Too many of us chase around that one dream like a dog with a chewed up bone, out of habit more than real desire.

Maybe you need to take a breather. Or simply change course. Try something else. But don't give up. You might be done with that particular book, painting, rock band, invention. So what if it never came to fruition? Maybe it wasn't meant to.

Let that dream go, release its grip on your time and psyche. And embrace new possibilities. Relish this new chance to try again. To fail again. Failing better this time. Next time, you might even succeed.

Drive safe. play nice. Think peace.

aba

Novel Approach

2010-04-29T22:04:00.001-07:00

Been there. Not done that. Osmosis doesn't work. Just thinking about it doesn't work. Talking about it really doesn't work.

What may work? To paraphrase Dorothy Parker: putting the ass in the chair and hitting the keyboard-- or if you're like me-- the legal pad. And without a Rosetta Stone I can hardly read my own chicken scratch. So I'm motivated to head to the computer for that first re-write. Now that works for me. Most of the time.

Try it. And if you need more motivational nudges, keep coming back. You can also call or write for a creativity coaching consultation. The first session's on me.

Drive safe. play nice. Think peace.

aba

Putting Off Procrastination

2010-04-19T23:18:00.000-07:00

"Do Not wait; the time will never be 'just right.' Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along." -- George Herbert, English author (1593-1633)

Wish I said that. I say it--or something like-- it almost everyday. To my clients. And to myself. So many of us procrastinate, squandering valuable time and energy.

It sounds counter-intuitive, I know, but when it comes to creative endeavors, think less, and do more. Of course, there's almost always some thinking involved. But don't think your way out of a project. And don't talk about it before or during the creative process. You will defuse the flow of creative energy and often abandon the project once it's been released into the universe as a spoken idea.

I know many artists who've sabotaged themselves in this way. I've done it myself. It's exhilarating to talk about what you're doing while you're doing it. But it's far more thrilling once the work is completed--or at least--well on its way.

If you've been putting off a creative project--a poem, story, book,song, painting, garden, etc,-- now is the time to start. Don't waste time worrying about the daunting scope of the project. You can't possibly finish it all at once. All I ask is that you take one small step. Today. Spend whatever time you can spare. Even an hour. Even fifteen minutes.

If you need a nudge, if you crave permission: I'm giving it to you now. This is my gift to you: time to revel in your own creative playground.

And please don't fret over results. Just enjoy the process today. And tomorrow, too. After that we'll get serious. About play.

The only thing to put off today is procrastination.

If you'd like to discuss how a creativity coach can help you play with your artistic blocks and find your true voice, call me: (914)939-5579. Or e-mail me: abrwites@optonline.net.Let's start a creative conversation.

Drive safe. Play nice. Think peace.

aba

Change in a Safe Space

2010-01-12T21:44:00.000-08:00

If you are sufficiently tenacious and interested, you can achieve what you want in this world.-- Alice Neel, painter.

Think about the following statements: Change is hard. Change is exciting. Which one sounds more inviting?

Approaching any change--career, relationship, diet, etc.--with the belief that it will be a long, arduous slog is far more daunting to most of us than if we embrace the change as an adventure. Re-framing the way we look at the world is the first step of finding happiness with our lives as they currently are and successfully handling transitions and effectively achieving goals.

Easier said than done, I know. And that's where an effective coach comes in. As a creativity coach I can help you define your goals and focus on the area or areas in your life that you'd like to change, expand and explore.

As a professionally trained coach and counselor with both a Masters degree in Counseling and Human Development and post-graduate work in Personal Coaching, I have helped clients in one-on-one sessions as well as through writing and personal growth workshops for ten years. I am also a professional writer--a journalist, award-winning playwright and fledgling novelist-- and radio talk show host. I have faced my share of transitions as I've navigated from the driver's seat the bumpy ride that a creative life often traverses.

I can help you:

set realistic goals
create and implement action plans
explore creative and spiritual arenas
conquer artistic blocks
work on relationships

As your coach I will: offer you a SAFE SPACE where you will always be heard, validated, encouraged and held accountable to your goals.

Coaching is a rewarding, inter-active process. As we forge this unique partnership, we will collaborate on an amazing journey of positive growth and change.

Phone sessions are available; so no matter where you are, I can be accessible to you. In person sessions and workshops are available by arrangement in New York and Connecticut, though many local clients also find phone sessions more convenient and intimate.

I invite you to start a creative conversation.

Call me at (914) 939-5579 or
e-mail: abwrites@optonline.net

Thank you.

Drive safe. Play nice. Think peace.

Amy Beth Arkawy

Initial consultations are, of course, complimentary. Fees are reasonable.

Creative Age

2009-08-04T14:06:00.000-07:00

Frank McCourt relished his role as Fitzgerald slayer. The famed high school teacher turned author--who died last month at 78--loved to put the kibosh on F. Scott Fitzgerald's famous line,"There are no Second Acts in American life." McCourt, who published his first book, the blockbuster bestseller Angela's Ashes at 66( followed by 'Tis and Teacher Man) often called the last decade of his life his best.

So I'm sure he'd delight in being my opening salvo in a motivational nudge I recently gave a client deeply entrenched in a procrastinational funk. "I'm too old to start writing a book now," she said, lamenting her approaching birthday. I'm not sure where she got such a silly notion, but she's not alone. I've had many clients and students who think they're too old to pursue their dreams. Unless your dream is to, say, play shortstop for the Mets or dance in the NYC Ballet, I'm pretty sure they are within reach. Think of it this way: you're still--God willing--going to turn 40,50,60, whatever age you deem too old. Wouldn't your rather reach that dubious milestone doing something you love?

The truth is creativity knows no age. Actually, the art of creating helps you stay young, keeping you in touch with the child within, letting you engage in the states of exploration and play. And whatever your age, you've presumably accrued experience along the way. This can only help enrich the art you create.

Besides McCourt examples of late-blooming artists abound. Grandma Moses didn't even start painting until her 70's; her late-in-life career kept her thriving, creating the American folk art that has immortalized her well into her 90's. Maya Angelou didn't publish anything until her 40's. Neither did Ellen Gilchrist;the National Book Award winning short story writer and novelist once said writing keeps her young,"makes me forget I'm not young anymore." There are examples from the youth-obsessed entertainment industry, too. Noted character actor John Mahoney--famous for his TV role as Frasier's dad (and numerous movie parts)ditched his job as a text book editor in his 40's to pursue acting.Julia Child was over fifty when she published her first ground-breaking cook book;and she was well into her fifties when she stormed the small screen, becoming the first celebrity TV chef. Country singers K.T. Oslin and Buddy Jewel didn't hit the charts until their 40's. And Britain's Got Talent finalist and YouTube sensation Susan Boyle is recording her first album at the tender age of 48. The Pope just signed a record deal, and he's in his 80's. Now that news makes almost everyone feel young!

There's nothing like immersing yourself in a creative project to infuse your life with youthful energy. So dive into the creative well. It's the ultimate fountain of youth.So what are you waiting for? You're not getting any younger.

Drive safe. Play nice. think peace.

aba

You Gotta Believe

2009-07-06T14:32:00.001-07:00

My childhood love affairs with the famous Dragon Coaster and the New York Mets prepared me for the ups and downs of a creative career.

The anticipation. The ascension. The dips. These are all part of every roller coaster ride. And every season, every game ( sometimes every inning). And they all play roles in most creative careers, too.

Just entering historic Rye Playland filled my youthful heart with magic and wonder. When I was straddling the middle between Kiddie Land and the Big rides, I would wait in line, standing tall, working a nasty little hole in the tip of my sneakers, hoping, praying I'd make the height line. I used to base my summer's success on the number of visits my family made to Playland.

When I finally made it onto the Dragon Coaster,I remember that queasy feeling that crept from my stomach to my head as we boarded the ride cars, buckled in for a wild, raucous, three minute romp. Kids would titter, giggle, laugh even before the ride started. The laughter, the screaming reached a crescendo as we took our first big, thrilling dip.

I loved it all. Until. Until the summer I turned seventeen and got a job ( actually begged for a job) as a relief ticket-taker. I'd roam the grounds of the hallowed Playland, proudly wearing my red and white striped carnival barker's shirt, filling in for the regular ticket-takers on a variety of rides, including my beloved Dragon Coaster. Somehow turning kids away and getting lambasted in a compendium of United Nations' languages sapped all the majesty and mystique out of the Playland experience.

But I still had--and have--my Mets. Hooked on New York's other baseball team by my dad, who had been a fervent Brooklyn Dodgers' fan, I inherited his love for the underdog Amazin's ( and , come to think of it, all underdogs, not to mention my love of writing). I'm too young to remember the 1969 Miracle Mets, but I do know they clinched the World Series against the Orioles on October 16-my mom's birthday. And I'll forever hold Tug McGraw's 1973 inspirational anthem, " You Gotta Believe," in my heart. It's seen me through many hapless seasons. And the glorious 1986 championship season ( here's where Red Sox fans can use the boost), and near misses in 1999 and 2000, a pair of crash-and-burn Septembers in 2007 & 2008. It's helping me hang in this injury-riddled year, hoping, waiting, knowing a recovery is imminent, a comeback is in the offing.

And so it is with my creative career, too. I love the whole shebang--from conceiving a project to executing it; from launching it into the world to fielding feedback from audiences and readers. It's all part of the process. And you have to love it all to make any of it happen. I love the possibilities of a new project, all the details that get discovered, the stories that are fleshed out along the way. I yearn for success, of course, but I embrace the failures too. I've even developed a perverse sort of love for rejection letters. Each one is a symbol of my committment to my work. People have a right to say no. They can't get it right every time. And neither can I. But every stumbling block, every obstacle, they are all part of the thrilling ride.

If you come to play, be prepared to work hard and practice. Accept that you'll strike out a few times. But if your disciplined, you'll get to run the bases. And if you work hard enough and if you're truly lucky you may just hit one out of the park.Maybe even two. Or three.

Hey, you gotta believe!

Thanks, But No Thanks

2009-06-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

I collect nos. And if you're a writer ( or anyone looking for a job these days), you probably do, too. Unless you're Stephen King's wife or Mary Higgins Clark's daughter, you're likely to amass hundreds, if not thousands of rejection letters. I refuse to count, but I have a friend who keeps a tally. A student alphabetizes every rejection by the agent's last name; another catalogs them by date received. Some people hang them up on a wall; some burn them in a cleansing ritual; some simply toss them in the trash. I'm saving mine for an art project worthy of a National Endowment for the Arts grant or for gotcha bragging rights when I become famous. Whatever works.

Of course there are variations on the "no." Some are mere form letters, untouched by human hands. Some are more emphatic than others. The " No way in hell," is rarely bluntly stated, but often implied in the short " Dear Author" form card. But just as quickly as such an austere standard brush -off can slam the door shut, a slightly warmer rebuff can open a crack in the window of literary fortune."Not now," especially if written in hand with something akin to, "But try us again," offers a glimmer of hope. A real personalized letter with actual suggestions and a " try again later," is nothing short of promising.

All writers---novices and pros alike--need encouragement. It may seem counter-intuitive to find such a boost from a rejection letter, but it's there. Look at it this way: sending out your work is a positive step ( assuming it's ready to be seen by editors and agents). It is your foray into the literary lottery. And like love and lotteries, the submission process is very much a numbers game. Frequently you have to endure a succession of nos to finally arrive at that one coveted yes. But that one sweet yes can swiftly eradicate your rejection dejection.

And you never know who will see your work along the way. An unsolicited call from an editor asking me to write an article or a festival director seeking to produce one of my plays can help me rebound from a recent batch of rejections. Just the jolt I need to re-energize my creative juices, refuel my resolve to keep going, fortify me for yet another round of submissions.

So every time you get a rejection letter, file it, count it, catalog it, toss it. Do what works for you. But make sure the ritual includes savoring each rejection as a symbol of your commitment and faith in your own work. And know you're not alone. There are millions of us collecting nos. Like that famous little train, if you think you can convert those nos into a yes, you can.

I think I can. I think I can. And I think you can, too.

Drive safe. Play nice. Think peace.

aba

START ME UP

2009-06-04T13:55:00.000-07:00

Start with the smell of burnt toast. Or look for a pair of missing earrings. Try falling out of love. Or waiting for an interview for a job you desperately want ( or one you never thought you'd have to get). Start with a line from a song or a classic movie. Look at a snapshot from a family album. Or a photo from the newspaper.

These are all prompts I have used in creative writing workshops to help writers tap into the creative well that is available to every artist. We typically use the first fifteen to twenty minutes of each session to just write, write, write. The prompt is merely a suggestion- a jumping off point, which can be used or eschewed in favor of an image or idea rumbling around in a writer's head. The premise: uncensored, uninhabited writing can open the creative passageway often blocked by the raging self-doubt of that pesky inner critic that seems to tag along for the ride.

After we finish writing, folks can share or pass ( I'm the only one who never passes; I think as the facilitator it is incumbent upon me to share). No one offers criticism. How can we? We know the work can't be very good; it is after all, a very raw, rough draft. People can, however, mention a particular image that stood out, if they are so inclined.

The surprising thing: many of the images, turns of phrase, characters, are often vivid or amusing or touching. Some even serve as starting points for stories and poems, scripts and even books. You'd be amazed at what your inner artist can do when s/he is left to play without fear of recriminations, without that pounding " it's no good," " no one will care," ' no one will ever publish this."

These exercises give you permission to try, to play, to experiment. And once you dip into that creative well, you're apt to dip in again and again.

Is something burning? It may be your desire to connect or re-connect with your inner artist. Or it may just be your breakfast. Either way, it's time to get started.

Drive safe, play nice, think peace....

aba

Drive-By Bloggers Take Aim!

2009-05-22T13:43:00.000-07:00

Help, I've been Schlamazeled! If your exposure to Yiddish is limited to the unlikely and most memorable Laverne & Shirley opening... " Schlemiel, Schlamazel....," here's a refresher. A schleimel is a guy who drops soup on someone's lap. A schlamazel is the guy who gets wet.

Well, I just got a big bowl of cyber soup dumped in my lap courtesy of some unknown drive- by blogger. I'm not sure when this offense occurred, but I discovered the disturbing evidence when I Googled myself a few days ago ( c'mon, admit it: you do it too. And if you don't maybe you're better off w/ your head in the cyber sand.) Actually, experts suggest you do Google yourself if you're looking for employment or growing a business. And if you have posted anything dubious on your own web site, or places like My Space and Facebook, clear them. It is ( as I'll discuss a bit later) much easier to clean up your own mess than one someone has deposited in your path.

Along with a smattering of listings for articles and plays I'd published and produced, some PR for a radio show I hosted which has been off the air for years and a few postings for a writing workshop I was offering, my search turned up four sites for DWI. WHOA! Pull over, buddy. I have never been arrested for anything ( unless you count the charity jail and bail I participated in, years ago, as a radio fundraiser for the March of Dimes). I rarely drink. And I never drink and drive. Never ever. This is a big issue with me. When I was a teenager I was in an accident caused by a drunk driver. I suffered minor injuries, while my dad was seriously injured and hospitalized for quite some time. Years later, a close friend was killed by a drunk driver. On the radio, over the years, I have interviewed folks from MADD and others impacted by this tragic and preventable crime. Having said all that, I 'm not trying to be sanctimonious. Everyone makes mistakes and I've certainly made my share. I just don't want to be tarnished by one I simply didn't make.

Now, I don't know why my name was included in such links as DWI Blog, DWI School and--ouch--Recent DWI Arrests because when you click on the links all that appears is " Sorry, the link seems to have been broken." Broken, but not cleared. My limited cyber-sleuthing suspects some local blogger from Greenwich , CT got a hold of my workshop press release and made a joke. One description line, following my name, says something like, " the teacher must have gotten drunk and told her students...." What comes after the dot dot dot is anyone's guess, because the links go nowhere. Okay, I can take a joke; but one that actually has a punch line and hopefully doesn't leave behind a lingering, humorless odor. To be clear: I don't know that any of these posts accuse me of anything; perhaps my name was included as a victim or witness; maybe they lsited me as the editor of the bloody blog. None of these are true, of course, but some falsehoods are more tolerable than others. It is the absence of any detail that leaves it up to the searchers to make their own inferences, draw their own conclusions.

I've tried to rectify the situation by contacting Google. So far ( and to be fair it's only been a few days), there has been no action. The trouble is: there must be a lot of erroneous info out there on a lot of people. Google has a form to fill out, but there are a lot of people complaining about complaining to Google. So I'm not optimistic that these posts will vanish any time soon.

I've gotten a mixed bag of advice. Some say I should sue. But who? And really, I just want these false ( and apparently non-existent) posts to disappear. Others say dusting up my goody-two shoes ( boring) reputation with a hint of bad behavior would give me some street cred and put me in the annals with legends like Hemingway, Parker and Mailer. First of all, while those greats may have been notorious for their drinking escpades, I don't know if any were accused of DWI ( and I'm certainly not going to be the one to cast aspirations). It's also easier to be a rebellious legend after your dead. And--here's the most important factor-- I'm not that successful. Not yet anyway. So along with writing, I am also a creativity coach and teacher ( remember that workshop which got me into this mess? Oh, btw: this particular session was cancelled due to low enrollment... I'm not sure but I think that makes me a secret double probation schlamazel.) So if current or potential clients/students Google me they may get the wrong impression, think they're dealing with a degenerate character and look elsewhere for help.

So what have a I learned? Be careful what you post about someone else. Once it's out there, it's hard to clean up cybersludge. And take a jaundiced view of what you read about someone . It just may be misleading or blatantly false. And I may advise potential searchers to go through Yahoo. A recent Yahoo search of my name came up with fewer references; all were, thankfully, accurate.

Of course, if some benign drive-by blogger writes that I've won an Oscar or have been awarded a Pulitzer, I'd want to set that record straight, too. Eventually.

In the meantime, having my reputation sullied is so disconcerting; it's enough to drive me to drink. But don't worry, I'll stick with Starbucks. But instead of my usual Tall decaf, I might have to go for the Venti triple espresso. Talk about reckless.

I'll keep you posted.....

Drive safe, play nice, think peace.....

aba